Remember when…

Remember when I created a quiz to see how well you knew me?  Turns out not a whole lot of you did, but I loved that you all tried.

Remember when I got hate mail from someone who thought my blog was self-centered?  It took him three hours to figure that all out.  Friggin’ idiot.

Remember when I created my very own poem to wish you folks a good holiday?  That was one of my favorite posts because it was one of my most sincere efforts on this blog and I really enjoyed writing it.

Remember when I posted 5 burning questions for my male readers?  I got the biggest response from that post, a record-breaking 36 comments according to haloscan.  Remember haloscan?  Man, I hate them, they didn’t keep any of your comments.  I have the email notifications of them, but not the actual site/link whatchamacallit.  Bastards.

Remember my first blogmeet and the ones that followed?  Seemed a long time ago.

Remember when Jay left and Jack took down his blog and Gooch went into hibernation?  Remember Fleece?  Well, I’m afraid it’s my turn to say goodbye.  Like Jay, I’m too narcissistic to take down my blog entirely.  I thought I’d leave it up for posterity’s sake or if any of you feel like taking a stroll down memory lane.

This blog has run its course and it was a good run, I thought.  I have 590 published posts, thousands of comments, twenty-nine blog categories, thirteen people on my blogroll and zero regrets.

I’ll still be around to read and comment on your blogs if you have one.  For those who don’t, you have my email or phone number, so don’t be a stranger.  And who knows?  I may still meet some of you someday (that means you, Inanna, Jammie J and Michael).  For those I’ve already met, I hope our paths meet again.

Well, folks, I think that about does it.  I’m terrible at goodbyes, so instead I’ll just say thank you for all the memories.

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Sepiatone loving

We recently found an old photo album of baby pictures from the Philippines.  It only had about 40 pictures in it, but all 40 were of me!  Imagine that, 40 baby pictures of your favorite Bad Beth blogger!

Since I’m feeling a bit generous, I’ve scanned some of them and have decided to share them with you.  They also uncovered a long, lost scrapbook created by my oldest and dearest group of friends.  The pictures in that scrapbook were taken during my first year in high school, a whopping 18 years ago!  They made that scrapbook for me when they found out that my family was moving to Vegas, isn’t that sweet?  My friends and I spent a good hour holding our sides from laughing at our younger, dorkier selves.  But you won’t get to see those pictures because 1) we were WAY dorky and 2) my friends will kill me if they found out I posted them on the interwebs. 

But I hope you enjoy these baby pictures.  Click on the pictures to enlarge and see descriptions.  And if you want to see more, click here.

 

Me no like hat!

My first time as a flower girl

Me? Dressed as a nun? I mean, seriously!!

Isn’t my dress just fabulous?!?

I remember this day! I remember thinking that I finally got to wear my headband to match my watch!

This is the only picture you’ll ever see me wearing a swimsuit, so soak it in, folks!

Me nekkid!

If she knew what she wants

Confession:  my new favorite show on tv is “Dancing With The Stars.”

When you’re done laughing, I’ll tell you why.

I love to dance.  It makes me feel alive, I get exercise and it’s tons of fun!  Several weeks ago, I took a free swing dance lesson at the Newark Museum (in celebration of their 100th anniversary).  I’ve always wanted to learn how to swing dance, so when I found out how quickly I picked up on it, I have been dying to find a good dance studio to start learning.   And not just swing dancing, I want to learn all kinds of ballroom dancing.  I once confessed to someone that I’d love to learn how to tap dance.  He laughed at me and for the most part, that’s the reason why I’ve never even considered taking a dance class before.   

Anyway, dancing doesn’t come naturally for a lot of people.  And even if it does, it still takes practice, skill and a lot of hard work to do it right and do it well.   So, teaching so-called stars how to dance is something I can truly appreciate.   But watching them do it?  Meh, I actually couldn’t care less, which is why I didn’t even bother watching the first 7 seasons.

But on their season premier 11 weeks ago, out of sheer curiosity, I watched this show and was instantly hooked!  They took 13 “celebrities” totally out of their comfort zones and into the ballroom and it was mesmerizing to watch! 

I loved watching these awkward, graceless, rhythmically challenged “stars” put so much effort into dancing.  I watched them struggle through the salsa, the pasa doble, the jive and the quick step (to name a few).  And week after week, my heart went out to them as they rose to each challenge.

Last night was the season finale.  They had three “stars” in the finals.  I won’t bother to tell you who the other two were because you won’t know who they are, hence the quotation marks.   But the winner was Shawn Johnson, a 17-year old gymnast and medalist from the 2008 Beijing Olympics.  She’s a gymnast, folks.  They’re trained not to show emotion.   They’re extremely focused, slightly uptight creatures and despite their “floor routines”, they are completely lacking in grace and fluidity (well, some more than others). 

But her focus allowed her to learn faster than the others, so that her technique was always flawless.   She went from a tumbling, flipping mass of energy to a sophisticated, mature little dancing queen!  And if she can do it, so can I!!  THAT is what I love about the show.  They took people with little to no dancing experience at all and transformed them into dancing pro’s!  Well, nearly pro.   And each one of them looked like they had so much fun during the whole process!

That and I LOVE the outfits!  I have yet to see a professional dancer who didn’t have fantastic legs and cleavage!

The video below is the dance that won the championship for Shawn.  It’s the cha-cha-cha and its danced to one of my all-time favorite Michael Jackon songs.  This is why I voted for Shawn.  I don’t think I’ve enjoyed television this much in so long!  I was so very happy she won last night, cause she deserved it. 

Problem now is, with the season finale, I no longer have anything to watch on Mondays.  And I just found out that another one of my favorite shows on tv was cancelled, “Life.”  I am seriously considering giving up TV altogether.

Manic Monday

I woke up this morning with a start.  It was so bright and sunny outside that I knew I had overslept.  So, I rolled off the bed and landed face down on the floor.  I picked myself up,  headed for the door and stubbed my right toe on a dresser.  That’s when I realized that I didn’t have my glasses on and can’t see a damn thing without them.  So, I blindly searched for my glasses when I stubbed the same toe on the same dresser again!

Oh, fuck it, I said to myself, and headed for the bathroom to shower.  But, without said glasses, I kept bumping into things, made the water too hot and nearly died from scalding.

After the shower, I got dressed and by some miracle, I was able to pull off an outfit in less than 5 minutes (cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I’m gonna wear).  Even my hair looks fabulous with very little fuss. 

I got in my car and got on the turnpike when I remembered that I didn’t get a chance to check the traffic! It’s the one thing I never forget to do in my daily routine for work.  So there I was, driving on the turnpike, getting tense because I knew it was a Monday and Monday traffic is always the worst.

But I was pleasantly surprised to see very few cars on the road this morning and got to work in under 40 minutes.

When I got into the office, everyone checked their watches in surprise.  “What are you doing here this early?” they asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m late, no need for sarcasm.”

“Late?  Beth, what time do you think it is?”

“Uhhh….I don’t know. What time is it?  I forgot to wear a watch today.”

“It’s 8:00 o’clock in the morning!”

“But…but, it’s so sunny outside!  It’s got to be at least 10:30!”

“Nope.”

“Damn it!  Oh, well, that explains why the Monday Traffic wasn’t so bad”

“Beth, it’s Tuesday.   Remember?  You were off yesterday.  Man, how much drinking did you do this weekend and why are you limping?”

“Never mind, it’s a long story.”

Notes on the Mystic weekend

These are actual notes I jotted down in my handy-dandy little notebook.

• If you’re still lucid when you’re in a casino at 3am, you’re either pregnant or…well, I just don’t know what’s wrong with you. 
• I’m too old to be going to bed at 4am  and getting up at 9am the next day. 
• Krispy Kremes are so fucking good ANY TIME OF THE DAY.  
• No other town outside of Hollywood has more pictures of Julia Roberts than Mystic, Connecticut.  Sorry, but I don’t think she’s all that pretty. 
• Mystic’s a quaint little seaport town filled with great seafood restaurants and boutique shops (with funny little names like “Seamen’s Inne” and “You’ve Got To Be Beading”), none of which I got to see because of the dreary, foggy weather and the fact that I had a hankering for steak. 
• Brutal honesty is something I can only stand from people who have known me longer than 5 years. 
• There’s something oddly comforting about hearing someone else snore when they’re sleeping. 
• I hate, hate, hate, hate driving through the Bronx.  Hate it. 
• There really is nothing better than coming home after a great road trip and being able to be blog vaguely about it.

Have you seen my turkey?

I was driving home from work this afternoon, on a quiet country-like road lined with thick, tall trees, when suddenly, a giant bird tried to cross right in front of me!  Luckily, I was only driving 5mph over the speed limit (which was 25mph), so I didn’t put too much strain on my brake pads.  But the sudden stop was enough to throw my purse and its contents all over the place. 

The stupid bird stopped in the middle of the road.  It bobbed its head at me as if to ask, “Well?  Are you going to let me cross or are you going to drive on, pal?” 

I, of course, waited for it to move on, but the stupid bird didn’t.  We played the waiting game for maybe a minute when it suddenly looked behind him, made a few warbling noises, and ran off.  I shook my head, wondered what the hell that was all about and decided to pull over so I could pick up the crap that fell out of my purse. 

I had barely put the parking brake on when I saw someone approaching my car.  Something about this fellow didn’t make me want to reach for my cell phone and dial 9-1-1.  For one thing, he looked dumbstruck.  He had the kind of look on his face that said, “What in tarnation did I do with that chick’n?”  And the other thing was, he was pretty cute!

He stopped at the front of my car and yelled out, “Ma’am, have you seen my turkey?”

Maybe it was the embarrassed smile he gave me, or maybe I had way too much coffee today, but something made me reply, “Your turkey?  Uh, what does it look like?”  I could barely contain my giggles.

“Well, ma’am, it’s a big bird.  It’s black.  It’s got a small, ugly head.  And it’s got, like, that red, flappy skin on it’s neck, you know.”

“Sorry, I was just joking.  Of course I know what a turkey looks like and yeah, he just crossed the street and went that way.”

“He did?! Must be trying to reach the other farm again.  Damn bird’s escaped three times already!  Well, thank you, ma’am, you have a good day!”  With a quick wave of his hand and a boyish smile, he ran through the trees and disappeared into the woods. 

I love how my commute is never boring.

Live long and prosper

Can someone tell me why pointy-eared men are so damn sexy??

 

 

 

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The Book Club

For a very long time now, I’ve been wanting to either start a book club or join one.  But it seems people who live in my town a) are illiterate, b) don’t have time to read at leisure, or c) think I’m a big nerd.   If it’s the first choice, well, sucks to be them.  If it’s the second, well, nothing I can do about that and if it’s the last, well, darn tootin’!

Anyway, I stumbled upon a book club on Meetup.com and I was thrilled to find out that their reading list consists of classic books!   I have a long list of classic books that I never got to read (or finish, like  “Don Quixote”) and being part of this book club is a great way for me to work on that list!  Their current book is “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” by D.H. Lawrence.  I couldn’t get a copy in time, so I am getting ready for their next meetup.  The next book they’ve chosen is John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath,” and we are meeting at the end of May.

I’m already halfway through the book and I have to say it was a very rough start for me.  I’ve never read a Steinbeck book before (although I don’t know why I have a couple of old hardbound copies of his works in my “library”), so I suppose I wasn’t ready for his style of writing.   I mean, there was an entire chapter (Chapter 3) devoted to the plight of a little turtle trying to cross the street!  I was so confused!  To what purpose did that whole chapter serve?!?  I just didn’t get it because it didn’t feel like it had anything to do with the story!  I nearly wanted to give up on the book altogether because of it.

But as I got further along, I started to actually, sort of, enjoy the book (that is, if you could “enjoy” a book with such a depressing subject).   If any of you have read that book, please correct me if I’m wrong about my interpretation of that whole turlte chapter, okay?  Was the turtle meant to foreshadow our characters’ hardships as they set out to California?  Or am I way off?  And for the record, since I am no longer in high school (thank God), I refuse to look it up on Wikipedia or buy cliffs notes.  I might, however, watch the movie after I’ve read the book.

Anyway, I am really looking forward to my first ever book club meeting.  I just hope I don’t show my ignorance by saying something stupid.  If you folks want to share your opinions about this book to me, I promise I won’t take credit for them at the meeting.  😀

Ps.  The book for June has already been chosen and it’s one of my favorites, “Persuasion” by Jane Austen.  We’re taking a poll on what our July and August books should be.  Here are our choices:

1.  THE BELL JAR by Sylvia Plath (1963)

2. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov (1970)

3.  TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee (1960).  I’ve already read this and as much as I would love to read it again, I think I’d rather read something new.

4. THE HANDMAID’S TALE by Margaret Atwood (1985)

5.  A CONFEDERANCY OF DUNCES by John Kennedy Toole (1980)

6.  THE SCARLET LETTER by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1890).

What do you think I should read next?

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Lighthouse fun

Amidst the spring showers and thunderstorms we’ve been having, the forecast called for one absolutely picture perfect day on Sunday and I wasn’t going to waste it.  So, I dragged my family all along the Jersey shore hunting for lighthouses.  As it turns out, lighthouses aren’t that hard to find, they kind of stand out, don’t ya know.  But that didn’t stop me from getting us lost.  At one point, I drove 28 miles in the wrong direction!  

Ever since I stumbled upon LighthouseFriends.com, I have been dying to visit some of the lighthouses they featured.   I love lighthouses, don’t you?  I know it’s just me, but no other building can evoke so many images of the past.   I can just imagine all the ships that sailed past it, all the people who tended it, all the storms it weathered, and all the nights it stayed vigilant while the rest of the world slept.  And maybe because it keeps watch of the sea, something I love to do myself, that makes it so mystical and wondrous to me. 

Anyway, with the website’s handy dandy map of lighthouses, I charted a course for adventure, using nothing but my wits and natural sense of direction (shush!).  Our first stop was the Highlands to visit Navesink, a.k.a. The Twin Lights.  It was still pretty early in the day (around 10am) when we arrived and we were 200 feet above sea level, so it was very cold outside despite the sunshine.  The lighthouse has a gorgeous view of Sandy Hook, the New York skyline and the Atlantic Ocean.   I didn’t notice till this evening that the two towers were different, the north tower was round and the south tower was square.  They reminded me of chess pieces.  We climbed the north tower, toured the gift shop and the museum before we headed for the next lighthouse.

As you can see from the map above, there is a big gap between Navesink and the next lighthouse, which is the Sea Girt lighthouse.  And while I would’ve liked to have seen that lighthouse, we were short on time, so we decided to skip it and headed to the next lighthouse, which is in Barnegat.  It would’ve only taken us an hour to get there if I hadn’t gone 28 miles in the wrong direction, but it was a nice day for a drive so I tried not to let it bother me that much. 

Scaredy cat

When we eventually made it there, it was already around 2 in the afternoon.  There was a good crowd climbing the lighthouse, but I suppose it gets worse during the summer.  It took Mike and I about 20 minutes to climb all 217 steps of this 172-ft tower.  We were totally out of breath by the time we reached the top and when I got out on the tiny ledge, I made the mistake of looking straight down.  I used to say that I have a fear of heights, but now I’m beginning to think I just have a fear of falling.  Sounds kind of stupid, I know, but I wasn’t afraid of climbing those steep, narrow, curved steps, I wasn’t afraid of looking straight out to sea from way up high, and I wasn’t afraid of leaning on the iron bars….that is until I realized what a long drop it would be and that’s when my knees turned to jello.

But we stayed up there for a long time, taking as many pictures as we can before we headed down (and you can see some of them by clicking here).   We hung out for a bit by the beach before we headed home.  It was nearly 5pm when we left Barnegat. 

Being by the beach always makes me hungry for seafood, so I suggested we go find a good seafood place for dinner.  Since we were down the shore, it would’ve been easy to spot one, but for some reason, most of the restaurants looked closed.  I guess cause it’s not the season yet, those lazy bums.

I hate to say it, but we ended up eating at Red Lobster.   I was pretty tired from driving all day and from climbing Old Barney, so I ordered a Long Island Ice Tea to go with my lobster tails.  Hmm…lobster.  Maybe it’s been a long time since I had a Long Island Ice Tea, but for some reason, the drink got me really buzzed in a matter of a few sips.  What the hell is in that drink?  By the time my dinner arrived, I was good and giggly.  I was, of course, bumped from driver to backseat driver when we left the restaurant.  But I was feeling really good, I didn’t care.  It was a good way to end a great day and I love that this is just the beginning of what I hope will be an adventure-filled summer. 

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