I woke up this morning with a start. It was so bright and sunny outside that I knew I had overslept. So, I rolled off the bed and landed face down on the floor. I picked myself up, headed for the door and stubbed my right toe on a dresser. That’s when I realized that I didn’t have my glasses on and can’t see a damn thing without them. So, I blindly searched for my glasses when I stubbed the same toe on the same dresser again!
Oh, fuck it, I said to myself, and headed for the bathroom to shower. But, without said glasses, I kept bumping into things, made the water too hot and nearly died from scalding.
After the shower, I got dressed and by some miracle, I was able to pull off an outfit in less than 5 minutes (cause it takes me so long just to figure out what I’m gonna wear). Even my hair looks fabulous with very little fuss.
I got in my car and got on the turnpike when I remembered that I didn’t get a chance to check the traffic! It’s the one thing I never forget to do in my daily routine for work. So there I was, driving on the turnpike, getting tense because I knew it was a Monday and Monday traffic is always the worst.
But I was pleasantly surprised to see very few cars on the road this morning and got to work in under 40 minutes.
When I got into the office, everyone checked their watches in surprise. “What are you doing here this early?” they asked.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m late, no need for sarcasm.”
“Late? Beth, what time do you think it is?”
“Uhhh….I don’t know. What time is it? I forgot to wear a watch today.”
“It’s 8:00 o’clock in the morning!”
“But…but, it’s so sunny outside! It’s got to be at least 10:30!”
“Damn it! Oh, well, that explains why the Monday Traffic wasn’t so bad”
“Beth, it’s Tuesday. Remember? You were off yesterday. Man, how much drinking did you do this weekend and why are you limping?”
“Never mind, it’s a long story.”