Have you seen my turkey?
I was driving home from work this afternoon, on a quiet country-like road lined with thick, tall trees, when suddenly, a giant bird tried to cross right in front of me! Luckily, I was only driving 5mph over the speed limit (which was 25mph), so I didn’t put too much strain on my brake pads. But the sudden stop was enough to throw my purse and its contents all over the place.
The stupid bird stopped in the middle of the road. It bobbed its head at me as if to ask, “Well? Are you going to let me cross or are you going to drive on, pal?”
I, of course, waited for it to move on, but the stupid bird didn’t. We played the waiting game for maybe a minute when it suddenly looked behind him, made a few warbling noises, and ran off. I shook my head, wondered what the hell that was all about and decided to pull over so I could pick up the crap that fell out of my purse.
I had barely put the parking brake on when I saw someone approaching my car. Something about this fellow didn’t make me want to reach for my cell phone and dial 9-1-1. For one thing, he looked dumbstruck. He had the kind of look on his face that said, “What in tarnation did I do with that chick’n?” And the other thing was, he was pretty cute!
He stopped at the front of my car and yelled out, “Ma’am, have you seen my turkey?”
Maybe it was the embarrassed smile he gave me, or maybe I had way too much coffee today, but something made me reply, “Your turkey? Uh, what does it look like?” I could barely contain my giggles.
“Well, ma’am, it’s a big bird. It’s black. It’s got a small, ugly head. And it’s got, like, that red, flappy skin on it’s neck, you know.”
“Sorry, I was just joking. Of course I know what a turkey looks like and yeah, he just crossed the street and went that way.”
“He did?! Must be trying to reach the other farm again. Damn bird’s escaped three times already! Well, thank you, ma’am, you have a good day!” With a quick wave of his hand and a boyish smile, he ran through the trees and disappeared into the woods.
I love how my commute is never boring.