The Deposition

You know, I wish someone had told me I had nothing to worry about today.  Oh no wait, everyone did! 

I spent the whole night last night fretting that everything would go wrong with the deposition.  Like, I’d lose focus and say the wrong thing, or I’d get to the wrong place and end up missing the deposition or I’d lose courage and fall apart crying in front of the lawyers, the plaintiff (who will be referred to from now on as the Dirty, Greedy, Money-Grubbing Douchebag, or The Douchebag for short), the court reporter and God. 

But none of that happened.  Well, with the exception of my lawyer showing up half an hour late and adding 10 years of wear and tear to my already aggravated nervous system.  He apologized and did a fantastic job of prepping me for the deposition, so I forgave him. 

I’ve never been deposed before but my lawyer reassured me there’s nothing to be nervous about.  He gave me strict instructions to be truthful and careful when I speak, especially since the ever-vigilant court reporter will be recording every little thing that is said.  Everything, did you say? You mean, if I said, “Boom shaka laka laka,” I can ask the court reporter to repeat what I just said?

But no, no time for funny business.  This is serious, grown-up stuff.  I’m being sued, for God’s sake!

So, I put on my serious face and steeled myself for the questions to start.  But I immediately stumbled when the court reporter told me to raise my right hand and asked me if I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but?  I panicked!  With the first question!! I mean, do I say, “Yes, ma’am”?  It felt really weird for me to be saying, “I do” cause isn’t that just for weddings?  Grammatically speaking, though, shouldn’t I answer, “I will” cause technically, I will be telling the truth with all its wholey goodness? 

I forget what I said.  In fact, the rest of the deposition was a blur.  I may have choked on a few, seemingly simple questions.  But the friggin’ court reporter was unnerving!  She was just sitting there, with her little machine-thingy, being all calm and cool.  It bugged me!  She asked me to spell my Mom’s name (who was at the accident at the time), and I’m like, “how the hell are you taking all this?  There are no letters on your machine!! Tell me, woman!!” 

You’d be proud of me, though.  I could’ve seriously cracked but I didn’t.  Well, not so much that anyone noticed. 

I’m glad it’s over.  My lawyer tried to convince me that there is nothing to worry about.  The next step is arbitration, he said, but that won’t be for a while.  And even when it gets to that, my lawyers and insurance company will take care of everything.  I have nothing to worry about. 

Yeah right.  Have you met me?? 

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~ by Binibining Beth on June 24, 2008.

3 Responses to “The Deposition”

  1. One step at a time, dear. Glad you made it through the depo. 🙂
    Those court reporters are pretty amazing. For your reading pleasure, go here: <a href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Court_reporter”

  2. GAH. I did the link wrong. Try it again.

    Link

  3. I’m glad you made it through… remember that insurance companies are not giving up their money without a fight so I’m pretty sure they’re taking care of everything. I’ll be calling you for the skinny later…

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