I am woman. W-O-M-A-N!

Friday night was like any other ordinary night in the world of Bad Beth and Beyond.  That is, if you call being dry-humped by a drag queen* named Melinda ordinary.
We decided to celebrate Grace’s birthday with dinner and a drag show at New York City’s infamous “Lips.” Why?  Well, why the hell not?  What could be more fun for a group of young Filipinas feeling the need to affirm their femininity than to go to a drag show??  (Just kidding……you couldn’t get more girly than me).
Our reservation started with dinner at 9:30pm.  Nina and I drove into the city from Jersey and wouldn’t you know it?  We found free street parking a block away….right in front of “Fantasy World,” where dozens of adult “toys” and costumes were shamelessly displayed on their window.  We were off to a promising start.
We met up with Grace and walked to Lips, where they led us to the basement of a tiny restaurant.  The walls had yellow and pink striped  wallpapers, the ceiling had sparkly ornaments looking down on us, and the chairs had luscious velvet upholstery. 
Tlips-1.jpghe moment we were settled in our seats, Melinda lost no time in “introducing” herself to me.  As my left cheek was pressed firmly against her flat chest, she asked what special ocassion brought us to their world, where we came from, yada yada yada.
We immediately ordered shots…..of which variety, I don’t rightly recall.  All I remember was that it came in a shot glass that was much bigger than your standard shot glass and that it was in the shape of huge lips.  Naturally.  It took us a while to figure out how to drink out of the damn thing, but chug it we did, and we got the party started right.lips-2.jpg

Another drag queen, whose name eludes me at the moment, stopped by our table and asked us if we’d like some naughty balloons.  Would I?!?
I got a black whip, Nina got handcuffs and Grace got a huge penis.  

We were served dinner shortly afterwards.  I was surprised at how good the food was.  I wouldn’t bring my Mom to this place for the food, but go ahead and bring your Mother in-law (it’s sure to scare her from visiting you again).  The service was quick, Melinda made sure we were well taken care of (and I noticed she took very good care of everyone else too) and the alcohol was deliciously strong. 
I was expecting the show to be something similar to “The Birdcage,” you know, beautiful costumes, elaborate dance steps, heart-stopping showtunes and a touch of class.  Instead, we got something raunchy, shocking and hilarious! 

It wasn’t what I expected at all….it was much better!  Everyone had a great time and we managed to walk away with some dignity (that is, if you call walking around New York city after the show with balloon whips, hand cuffs and penises dignified).
If you dare, click here to see a more visual account of our night out.  There are videos as well, but I think I’ll spare y’all from the pure debauchery that was Friday night.

*Is there a more PC word than drag queen?  I’d really hate to offend any of them.


~ by Binibining Beth on January 14, 2008.

4 Responses to “I am woman. W-O-M-A-N!”

  1. Sounds like you had rip roarin’ good time. Or at least a balloony one. 😛
    Hey, you have a dimple! 🙂

  2. Wow, you are indeed, WOMAN!!!! Hot time, sista!

  3. We’ll have to go there when I come to NY sometime this year.

  4. Dry-humped by a drag queen? I thought they were into dudes?

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