I’ve found a great new job in Washington DC and I start the first of December.  I’m leaving New Jersey in a couple of weeks and staying at my little sister’s place till I find a place of my own.  I would love to just stay in New Jersey and not have to deal with packing, but they made an offer I couldn’t refuse – starting salary of $90,000 with a sign-on bonus, corner office with a view of the Washington Monument and with as much as 3 people under me.  Plus I get to travel to Europe every 4 months or so. 

Well, at least, that’s the story I told to cancel my gym membership.  Those gym nazis!  You don’t understand, the staff working at my gym are loco……on steroids.  If I had told them the truth that I was lazy, they’d have been nagging me to the death like…like a thing that nags a lot. 

They’d have pushed their beliefs on me that being a member would be the best thing that’s ever happened to me (even though I’ve actually gained more weight since I joined the gym 3 years ago than in the last 10 years).  They’d have tried to reduce my rate by half a percent and seduce me with everything I thought was lacking in the gym, like a sweat-free, idiot-proof piece of equipment that won’t hurt or humiliate me.  They’d have given me coupons so I can persuade a friend to be my gym buddy, to which I’d laugh and say “Ha!  I don’t have any friends, so there!”  They’d have done everything they were authorized to do, including waste more of my time and bug the shit out of me, just to keep getting my $50 a month.  But with this little white lie (What?  Who are they to know it’s not a white lie?), I have a solid reason to never be annoyed by them ever again.

So, I borrowed the words of one of my favorite pragmatists, looked at all the people at the gym and said:


~ by Binibining Beth on October 8, 2007.

5 Responses to “Moving”

  1. Well, you had me goin’… LOL! I’ve continued my NOLA series, btw.

  2. I was all, “But when I come to NYC, how am I gonna hang with you??” Phew. Now I don’t have to come to NYC for awhile…

  3. Washington is closer, so I’d be ok with that.
    However, I’m not ok with the 3 people under you.

  4. Did you like really move or what cuz you haven’t been back… *sniff*

  5. d@mn! my jaw dropped when i started reading this!

    well done 🙂

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