Bethisms

A letter: Thank you for switching to Government Employees Insurance Company!

Me: Mom, why does this letter say Government Employees Insurance? I work for a public accounting firm, but I’m not a government employee!!

Mom: What? Beth! Government Employees Insurance is G-E-I-CO!

Me: What?!? But I emailed them and asked them the same question!!!!

Later that day…

GEICO: Thank you for your inquiry. GEICO stands for Government Employees Insurance Company and has no bearing on what your profession is. We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you. Have a nice day (you idiot!).

——————–

Me: I’ve never had a one-night stand

Them: Never?

Me: Nope, they keep coming back for more.

——————–

Them: Here’s the schedule for our cafeteria plan.

Me: You have a cafeteria here??

——————–

Them: She never laughed at my jokes.

Me: Aawwww, maybe because they weren’t funny?

——————–

Them: Stop calling us! We’re trying to have sex!

Me: So I should call back in 2 minutes?

——————–

After reading a blog about boys chasing after girls at a party

Me: Boys!

Them: Boys? More like men! My friend is 25 years old!

Me: What does age have to do with it? Men woo women. Boys chase girls. See the difference?

Them: Then, what’s it called, ahem, when older women go after younger men. I think YOU might have some knowledge with this?

Me: It’s called a mistake.

——————–

Went to Friendly’s today and had the following discussion with someone who was waiting in line with me to get a sundae.

Them: Nice day for a sundae, hmm?

Me: Yeah, but in Texas it must still be pretty hot, huh?

Them: How’d you know I was from Texas?

Me: Oh, I noticed that you’re a Longhorn.

Them: Oh, you can see that, huh? *wink wink*

Me: I meant the Longhorn on your shirt. *rolling my eyes*

Them: Ah well, have you ever been to Texas?

Me: Yup

Them: You should go back again soon. You’d love it there, cause everything’s bigger in Texas, babe. *Another wink wink*

Yeah, including the assholes.

Haloscan Comments – 8

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~ by Binibining Beth on September 25, 2006.

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