Friends and Lovers

Tinyhands wanted to know if I could meet any blogger, who would it be and why? Naturally, my reply was Jack! That son of a bitch has somehow managed to avoid meeting anyone for far too long. But then again, it occurred to me, so have I. I’ve been a blogger for over 2 years now and I have yet to meet one of you.

I was beginning to worry that I was going to remain a Blogmeet-virgin for the rest of my blogging career. Well not no more! I promise that within the next 6 months, I will make every effort to visit the following people:

Bill – doesn’t really talk about me to his friends. To them, I was an Asian phase in his life. It’s sad, yes, but it gives me some comfort to know that I’ve ruined him for other Asians. I do hope that when I visit Denver that Bill will finally admit his undying love for me and introduce me to his friends, particularly Jasmine, who is so freakin’ funny, it’s not funny. Hopefully, I can meet up with Julie as well, while I’m there.

Grace – I know every girl says they’d turn lesbian for Angelina Jolie, but not me. I don’t go for hot, smart women, I’d much rather switch sides for someone like Grace. I don’t want to jinx it, so I’ll use reverse psychology – we are NOT going to meet up in Boston in February, you hear me?!? You are just going to have to live with disappointment for the rest of your life.

Inanna – I was going to bring her a bottle of Patron to share, but seeing how we can’t carry liquids on a plane anymore, it looks like I’ll have to drive down to see her. It’ll be a very long drive, so I can’t make any promises that the bottle will still be full when I get there, but it’s worth the try, no? She is crafting a beautiful ring for me as we speak, but I should warn you, it’ll be the one ring to rule you all! Bwahahahahaha!

Jeanette – I have the sneaky suspicion that she wants a menage a trois. Kinky as that sounds, I do not share, J! Besides, I cannot risk you two falling for me and becoming obsessed with me. I cannot go through that again. But to make it up to you, I will do the granny panty dance for you, so long as you promise it won’t show up on YouTube.

Karen – I’d love to meet The Chicken one day! Hopefully before the season ends. How it’s even possible that I’m in Hoboken every other weekend and we haven’t met up is beyond me.

Leese – I had wanted to show my respect for her by calling her Ate, but she has threatened to make me do pushups if I did, and seeing how she’s turning into the world’s smallest bodybuilder, I decided not to push my luck. All kidding aside though, I think of her as my best blogger friend, and it’s high time we met. B.B.F.F!

Michael – I was secretly in-love with him once. But he got tired of racking up massive phone bills from all the phone sex we were having, so he dumped me. And to add insult to injury, he dumped me for a Mets fan!!! But it’s all good. I’m over it now. But I just have to say, she better be good to him. I have two baseball bats, and the last thing you need is a baseball-bat-wielding Asian from Jersey running loose around L.A. screaming bloody murder.

And last, but definitely not the least……

Tinyhands – y’all might as well know that we are planning to run away together to China where we intend to have lots of beautiful tan babies. Granted, of course, that he doesn’t inadvertently send his ninja to kill me before we leave. [I really think he’s out to kill me, but I can’t say anything cause everyone seems to really like this guy a lot! But I don’t buy it. Not one bit. Send help!]

Honorable metion goes to Gooch, Jack and Trashman, who, I am not sure, are using their real names on their blogs. And until they reveal that piece of information to me, they will have to be put on a waiting list.

Haloscan Comments – 13


~ by Binibining Beth on August 20, 2006.

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