Islands in the stream of consciousness

Tender love is blind, it requires a dedication
Honest love, we feel, needs no conversation

The two-year anniversary of this blog came and went and you know what I really wanted to do? Quit. I thought about packing up my blog bags and say, “Adios muchachos!” In fact, I have just finished my farewell draft and it’s now waiting to be published.

I’m tired, folks. Mentally and physically. Not so much emotionally. I’m actually quite giddy in that respect and, I hate to say it, it’s because of someone. Which is actually causing my head to hurt. A lot.

Anyone notice how much I love to use the word “actually”? I’m beginning to think it does not mean what I think it means.

I need a vacation. Earliest vacation I have planned is……left in the hands of our good Lord, so, needless to say, I’m shit out of luck.

Did you folks know I’m the Family Joke? Oh yeah. Anytime there’s a family gathering, they’re all just waiting around to see what dear, clumsy, stupid Beth’s going to do and hope they catch it on film.

While we were all at The Meg and The Mike’s new home, they discovered that I actually did something right. Boy were they amazed. “This is so going on my blog!” I exclaimed. But my hands were so stiff and tired from all the wallpaper stripping we were doing, that I just logged it away in my memory bank and hoped that one day my family will remember what I did. Which is not likely, since by the end of the week, I would probably have done about a dozen stupider, funnier, more memorable things to live up to The Family Joke title.

Just you wait. Come April 15th, who do you think’s going to be the most beloved member of the family? Yeah, that’s right, me, the jackass who doesn’t charge family members and close friends for her services. I’m like a prostitute giving a freebie once a year for charitable purposes, not realizing those charitable purposes are not deductible business expenses.

Oh, good Lord, I just compared myself to a prostitute.

And used the Lord’s name twice irreverently on a Sunday.

Meh!

What is the etymology of that damn word? Can I put an exclamation mark after that word? Is that even grammatically correct? Can I be enthusiastically unenthused? And why isn’t unenthused in Dictionary.com? Am I making up words again??

I made a very funny joke today at dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. Man, was it funny, even The Mike said so. You should’ve been there.

Anyone else believe that it’s bad luck when you hand out the fortune cookies to the people on your table as opposed to reaching out for it? Am I the only one?

My fortune cookie said, “Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.”

No, it’s not. I wish it were right next to me, though, cause then I can ask it to give my poor, aching muscles a good massage.

I found out this weekend that my claims of being a good masseuse were bogus. The Sam and I took a break from wallpaper stripping to rest our weary hands. I reached out for her left hand to give her a massage, but she kept telling me to press harder.

“Well, I don’t want to hurt you, your hands are so freakin’ tiny!!” I said.

Frustrated at my wimpiness, she grabbed my hand and showed me how to do it. Well, she was so good at it, I asked her to do my other hand, not in the least ashamed that I was unable to perform. For such a scrawny person, The Sam is incredibly strong.

Never underestimate tiny hands.

It’s well beyond my bedtime, I have to travel 50 miles in the morning to a client’s office, I have a big audit to do, and instead of sleeping, I’m blogging. Yeah, I’m going to be quitting real soon.

Haloscan comments – 9

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~ by Binibining Beth on July 23, 2006.

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