Mad Libs

“To Lizza, who will be spending the rest of her life with one penis. Let’s hope it’s a good one!”

That was my pathetic attempt at a bachelorette toast for Lizza on Saturday night. Lame, I know, but I had just watched “Old School” and this line got stuck in my head:

“Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart. Way to work it through.”

Well, that was actually better than my original toast, “To Lizza, who has everything she could ever want in life, except good taste in men.”

*Ba-dum ching!*

I’m not very good at this. So, with that in mind, I’m going to ask you folks to help me write a better toast for our dear friend. If any of you have ever played Mad Libs, then you know how it goes. To those who don’t, then follow this: I will ask all of you to provide a few words in the categories listed below, in that order. In a day or two, depending on how many people participate, I will pick the best of your comments to fill in the blank spaces of a wedding toast. Since none of you know what the entire toast is, the end result will hopefully be funny or retarded, either way, we should be able to get a good chuckle from the bride-to-be.

By the way, if you think that you’re too old to participate, well, fuck off then, party pooper, we want none of your fun extinguishing here.


1. A liquid
2. An event
3. Adjective
4. Adjective
5. An emotion, present tense
6. Adjective
7. Adjective
8. A unit of time, singular
9. Object, plural
10. An emotion ending in “ness”

P.s. I will have pictures of the bachelorette party soon. I’m waiting for someone whose name rhymes with Bina to send them to me. Don’t hold your breathe on me blogging about it. What happened that night stays within us girls and Artie Lange.


~ by Binibining Beth on June 12, 2006.

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