Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we’re gonna fuck you up.

The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I’ll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger ’til it goes “click.”

The Dude: Jesus.

Jesus Quintana: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Good gawd, The Big Lebowski has some fucking great quotes. I had a tougher time coming up with a title for this post than to write the damn thing.

Anyway, this serves as a warning to anyone who dares to challenge me in bowling. I may have lost a couple of games tonight, but I’m not out, man. I want a rematch! Sammie and I teamed up against the evil Warren and Meg. Those two are bastards, and I will get even one day, mark my words!

Sam and I won the first game, then the bastards won the next, and would you believe it? We actually tied the third game, then the bastards unleashed their evilness and ruined what could’ve been my best game ever.

They cheated, I tells ya! They started heckling, throwing down some pretty bad smack talk, and they even went so far as to use my ball! They jinxed me.

Have I mentioned how I love to go bowling? That I live very close to a bowling alley? That I have my own pair of bowling shoes and bowling ball? That I average 130?

I’d join a league but the bowling alley behind my place is way too comptetitive, man. It takes the fun out of the game. The Asians in there are fucking serious, like they got their matching shoes and balls, the fancy wrist bands and the tiniest girls throwing strikes. You don’t want to mess with the Chinamen, dude.

Besides, I have the worst tendency to choke when it really counts. I’d be bowling strikes one minute and then be throwing balls in the gutter the next. I keep getting Munsoned, and I don’t know why!

Anyway, I needed this. Work’s been mad crazy. On Friday, our bosses had an extra special treat for the staff. They asked Debbie, our favorite massage therapist, to give us a quick massage!! I was nearly brought to tears, it felt so good!

I have a lot of catching up to do on some of your blogs. Go figure that while some of you are missing in action, the others are posting faster than I can read them! What’re you, trying to make up for the others??

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~ by Binibining Beth on November 15, 2005.

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