The Elusive Mr Right

It’s a sad moment in life when you find a guy who seems to fit everything you look for in Mr Right and realize that he’s gay. It’s very frustrating, this search for the elusive Mr Right. I mean, is he even out there?!?

Not that I have been really trying hard to look for him. If anything, I think I just got lazy and just settled for whoever came my way. Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a nice thing to say about my exs……but in a way, it’s true. I’ve had to settle for what my exs could give me, as opposed to getting what I wanted and deserved from them. But that’s mostly my fault, I shouldn’t have settled for less than what I wanted.

I think my problem is I don’t really know what I want in my guy. I used to say that the two most important qualities I look for in a guy are intelligence and sense of humor. I thought my standards were pretty high back then cause I thought it’d be hard to find a guy with both qualities.

I was wrong. I’ve met guys who had both in abundance…….it was their other qualities I couldn’t stand. So I began to look for more qualities that I had to have……most recently, I learned to appreciate the importance of communication, and everything that goes along with it – like honesty and openness. Understanding doesn’t necessarily have to come along with it, I mean, you can’t always be agreeing with someone! That’d be too boring!

But I’ve come to value honesty and openness a lot lately. I always try to tell people how I feel about them, if not in words, then I let them know by my actions. One way or another, you’ll know how I feel. I expect the same from Mr Right. Open communication is so important for me now, how else would we be able to learn from each other and grow together if I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking?! The guy doesn’ t have to be in touch with his emotions for him to open up to me, but being able to tell me what he’s thinking and being honest about it is a skill I’d like Mr Right to have.

Sigh….I know there’s more….but it’s getting kinda depressing to think about that laundry list of qualities. The more I think about it, the harder it is to believe that such a man exists. Oiy…I gotta stop thinking….like a friend said recently, “thinking gets me in trouble.”


~ by Binibining Beth on October 10, 2004.

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