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Cup of dirt*

Sometimes I bring to work some very strange Filipino dishes for lunch.   Most of them look and smell appetizing to  my coworkers, but when I offer a taste, they politely decline.  I do love their culinary curiosity, though.  We often get into lenghty discussions about all things cooking related.

Today, I brought with me one of my favorite Filipino dishes.  It’s called siopao.

So, naturally, when one of my coworkers saw these little delights, she asked me what they were.  But my head had been in a fog all morning long and I didn’t want to get into the whole shpiel of what it’s called and how they are made.

I simply replied, “Oh, um, they’re called pork buns.”

“Oh really?  What’re pork buns?”

“Umm…well, they’re buns…with pork in it.”

“Gee thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

*To see why this was freaking hilarious to me (and to maybe a few Brian Regan fans out there), click here.

Protected: State of the Beth address

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Bitten by a bug

Wish I could say it was the love bug or the travel bug, but it’s actually the dreaded G.I. bug, or the gastrointestinal virus, a.ka. the stomach virus.  I’ve had it since Tuesday morning.  And so has my entire family.  We don’t know where we got it from, and right now we don’t care.  All we care about is getting better, which, at this point, takes some time. 

I’ve been staying in bed since Tuesday, with hardly any energy to lift my head up to watch tv.  When I’m not in bed, I’m in the bathroom.  I’ll spare you the details.

I haven’t had much of an appetite, just munching on some crackers and drinking lots of ginger ale.  As a result, I’ve lost 4 pounds since Tuesday.  Yay!  No?

I”m sure people at work are getting pissed off, and so are my clients, for being out so many days already, during tax season.  But there’s no way they could’ve gotten anything out of me in this condition.  And I would’ve only passed the bug onto them. 

I’m feeling a little better than yesterday.  I’m actually able to sit up, read email, write this post, take a really long, hot shower and wash my bedsheets.  I can’t tell you how good it feels for me to be able to sit up.   From what I read online about this bug, people don’t usually die from this virus, but it sure makes you wish you will.

Gone fishing

Working for the Sunday

I work six days a week now.  You’d think after having gone through several tax seasons I’d be used to having one day to myself.  But no, not me.  Last Sunday, I was so torn between spending the day just vegging out in my pj’s or going out to do something fun, that by the time I made up my mind, it was well after lunch already!  Half the day was gone and the rest of the day felt rushed.   That sucked!  Although, it wasn’t a total loss.  I got to see the movie “Coraline” in 3D, which was well worth getting out of Lazy Mode.

But now, Sunday’s coming up again and gaah!  I feel like I have so much to do that I don’t know what to do first!  I haven’t read the Sunday papers in so long I’m not sure why I keep my subscription.  Oh, for the Times Magazine, that’s right.  Which reminds me, I have to put away all the old newspapers for recycling. 

Then, there’s also a bunchof friends that I haven’t called, and I just know that the longer I put it off, I’ll miss out on more stuff, which will make the phone call even longer, which will then burn into other things I could be doing on Sunday!

There are places for me to explore, people for me to visit, food for me to devour and lots of fun to be had, all in one day that I wish there were more of me to do it all!  

Ha!  Will you listen to me?  The world is not ready for more than one Beth in it.   

Anyway, the thing that I’d love to do most on Sunday is something I am definitely trying to avoid.  It’s the one indulgence I know that would totally waste my one free day from work – I’d love to be able to sleep in.    I’ve been getting up earlier than usual just so I can get to work earlier, go home earlier, go to sleep earlier and do the same thing all over again the next day.  So, for one day, I’d love to not hear my alarm go off, to not worry about having to be somewhere, to do my daily stretches in bed, then roll over and go back to sleep…for 24 hours, if possible, but do you see how that would be a complete waste of a perfectly good Sunday?

A love story

See, this is a Valentine’s Day commercial done right.  None of that brainwashing “Every kiss begins with Kay” crap.  I just love the warm, fuzzy, homey feelings I get from this ad.  And I have to say, the first time I heard Joey sing, I was momentarily breathless.  I wish I could sing like that.   

Anyway, I hope y’all have a great holiday, whether it’s spent with a loved one this Saturday or enjoying a long-weekend off for President’s Day.  I’ll be working both days (no rest for the weary), so send me good vibes when you can.

25 Random Things About Me

1.  I can’t stand Facebook.

2.  I don’t understand its purpose or appeal.

3.  And yet I keep getting sucked into it.

4.  I mean, seriously, what’s with all the “Applications”?

5.  And the status updates?

6.  I don’t think I need to know EXACTLY what it is you’re doing, or planning on doing on a regular basis.

7.  Beth is painting her fingernails an “Autumn Berry” but she’s really doing it to get high off of the fumes.

8.  Beth is struggling to come up with 25 random things about herself, because she suffers from a debilitating need to please others.

9. These random “things” have to be clever enough to keep the reader’s attention.

10. Because otherwise, why would I be friends with you on Facebook?

11. And thus highlights the other annoying thing about Facebook.

12. I know who my friends are.   

13. I know who my friends aren’t.

14. When Facebook went through my Gmail account, it found out that some random guy I made an inquiry to about an apartment many years ago might actually be my friend!

15. Granted, I can’t blame other people for wanting to be my friend.

16. I am, after all, pretty awesome.

17. And they should get rid of the “now” in “Beth and Nina are now friends.”

18. Like, yay for me!

19. Never mind that we’ve been friends for 12 years.

20. We are now, just at this very moment, friends.

21. So, why is it that I feel compelled to answer these Tagged Notes I’ve been getting from you people? On a site that I’ve just confessed to hate?

22. Because how else would I know what’s going on with my friends?

23. Because I’m a slave to trends and a hypocrite to boot!

24. And Facebook knows it, which is why I really can’t stand Facebook.

25.  No offense to those who have already done the meme.  I enjoyed your notes and I thank you for sharing them with me.  Seriously!

Hairy Poll

Obviously, this poll is directed towards my female readers, but men, if you have a female around you and you know how often they shave their legs, please answer the poll.  Thanks!

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One week

As the weekend comes to a close, I just have one wish.  I’d like to have one uneventful week. One week without drama. One week without something or someone falling apart on me.  One whole week of peace and quiet. 

If it means not having one moment of happiness, one iota of joy, one glimmer of a smile, so be it.  If that’s what it takes to make my wish come true, to balance out the cosmos, I’d happily make that trade. 

I know what you’re thinking, “You’ll have plenty of time for peace and quiet when you’re dead, Beth.”  Look, I’m not asking for the rest of my life.  All I’m asking for is seven days.  That’s it. 

Is that too much to ask?

The Pick Up

Three weeks ago, before my friend, Nina, left for her vacation in the Philippines, she asked me if I could pick her up at the airport when she returns. Like any good friend would, I said, “Sure, just let me know where and when.”

So, Sunday evening, she called me from her stopover in Anchorage and said that her flight was scheduled to arrive around 8:30 and that she’ll call me when she’s gone through baggage claim. Around 9pm, I got the text message that she got her bags and will be waiting for me at the terminal. I replied and said that I’m on my way.

I got to Newark Airport 15 minutes later and searched for the terminal that her plane landed in. When I couldn’t find her airline, I called her and asked if she knew which terminal she was in, and she said, “I’m in Terminal 1.”

I replied, “Uh, don’t you mean, Terminal A?”

Nina said, “Well, no, um…”

I interrupted, “Yeah, you mean the first terminal, which is Terminal A.”

“Uh, no, I mean, Terminal 1.”

“Huh? Well, that can’t be….wait, you’re in Newark, right?”

“Dude! No, I’m in JFK!!”

“Are you serious?!?”

And I’m thinking to myself, Of course, she’s serious! If she was joking, she would’ve said…a priest, a rabbi and a black guy are in a bar…

“Yeah, I told you I was flying to JFK! That’s why I was surprised you agreed to pick me up!”

“Did you? I thought you said Newark!! Well, then, I guess I’ll be there in an hour. Sorry!”

“That’s ok.”

I made it there in 45 minutes without any further mishaps, except, I wasn’t expecting to be out of the house for that long. I drove to Newark thinking I’d be back in a few minutes. The drive to Queens is not pleasant. It’s long and bumpy (that’s what she said!) and last night, it was a few degrees below freezing. It wasn’t long before I needed to use the bathroom. It didn’t help that I was wearing thin socks, no bra (for some reason that really keeps me warm) and the a/c compressor in my car is on the fritz. Luckily, I have the willpower of a person with strong willpower, so I managed to pick her up and drop her home, safe and sound, without ruining our friendship.

The lesson of this story, folks, is if you ever need a ride from the airport, make sure your Beth knows where the hell she’s going.

Protected: The Blame Game

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Guess who didn’t get coal for Christmas?

I’m tempted to do a year-end review but it wasn’t a very good year for me, so if y’all don’t mind, I’m just going to skip it. I had a wonderful Christmas vacation with my family doing absolutely nothing. Oh, I helped put together a Lego Star Wars set with my brother in-law and I played Rock Band till the wee hours of the morning with my superstar rock band family called “Now Loading” (yes, that’s our band name cause we’re videogame geeks). But other than that, I did absolutely nothing and I loved it!

Called in sick these past two days and watched the fourth season of “Scrubs’ on dvd that was a Christmas present to me by my sister Sammie. I hooked up my brand new Wii, given to me by my sister Meg and her husband Mike, to my living room TV. And I am trying to find a good spot on my bookshelf for my kick-ass Jane Austen action figure! Yes, you read that right, a kick-ass Jane Austen action figure!

I’m a little depressed that the holidays are over. New Year’s doesn’t count. Every day should be a celebration. Why people have to make such a big deal about 365 new days is beyond me when they can’t be bothered to celebrate each new day EVERY day.

But I digress. It was a great holiday season and I’m not trying not to be depressed that it’s over.

In that spirit, I’d like to share with you some awesome pictures taken by Mike that really cheers me up.  I wanted to see Central Park with all the snow we got  last weekend and to also try my skills as a photographer newbie.  I ended up having more fun goofing around the park with my sister Meg than taking pictures, as you can see from the pictures below.

Best picture of Meg and I ever!

Anyway, I hope you folks have a great New Year!! And if you’re in the North East, I hope you stay warm!!

The Yule blog

‘Twas the week before Christmas
And all through Beth’s house
Not a present was a wrapped
She felt like a louse

Beth looked at the pile
Of presents with a glare
“Bah humbug,” she cried,
“This just isn’t fair!”

“I’ve been shopping for weeks,
My head’s in a funk
My wallet is empty
I’d rather get drunk!”

“But I’m stuck at home
With all of this fuss
I’d rather be celebrating
Christmas like a lush.”

Tempted by lagers,
Martinis and porters,
She then remembered
What the doctor had ordered

“Lay off of the alcohol
For you, no more beer…
Ok, maybe a little bit
For holiday cheer.”

A small amount she can drink
Which makes her feel glad
Cause she wants to make up
For all the years she’s been bad

So she went back to wrapping
The presents she’d boast
Were expensive enough
For those she loved most

There’s big sis and mother,
Lil’ sister and bro,
Their in-laws and babies,
With eyes all aglow

There’s a whole bunch of girlfriends,
The coworker crew,
Last but not least of all
Bloggers like you

You all make her feel
Especially loved
Making her thank
The heavens above

Time to wrap up this poem
Cause it’s getting quite cheesy
But it came from the heart
And that shit ain’t easy

So to you, may I wish,
With all of my might,
A Christmas and New Year
That’s joyful and bright!